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Star Trek Rap

from Olde Sk​ö​ö​l by CRUST

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about

Vintage 1988

lyrics

Well it was Stardate seven six five point two
When who came rappin’ in but the Star Trek crew
Crankin’ up the thrusters to nine point two
Was the navigation officer Mr. Sulu
He just pound on them buttons, all day and all night
But when he opens his mouth he sounds like Barry White

Uhura’s on the com just bein’ a flirt
You can tell it’s her from the high-cut skirt
She’s had twenty years of training, but I’ll be damned
All that she can say is - Transmissions jammed

Who’s that spittin’ torpedoes out into space
It’s Checkov, the Russian with the panicky face
But while he energized the phaser beam
The console exploded and he started to scream

In came Scotty’s belly shakin’ like a pot
The captain asked for more - I’m givin’ her all she’s got
But before he got the chance to say - Aye, cap’n
He got down on the floor and started some rappin’

My Dilithium is dirty, but my whisky is neat
I keep the warp drive humming while I'm keeping the beat
The boss is always buggin' gettin' up in my face
Seems I'm the only intelligent life in space

Who’s that wrinkly kinda guy lookin’ scrappy and slim
Who can never quit exclaimin’ - He’s dead Jim
I’m kinda clumsy and I don’t dress dapper
But dammit Jim, I’m a doctor not a rapper

Who’s that pointy-eared, bowl-cut logical dude
Who never seems to be in any kinda mood
Peerin’ in da scanna talkin’ really methodical
His response to rap - It is highly illogical

Last on the list is first in command
It’s Jimmy T. Kirk, let’s give him a hand
Give him a hand, give him a hand
C’mon everybody let’s give him a hand
He’s kinda temperamental and he’s sorta irate
But when it comes to toastin’ Klingons, boy is he great!
Great, great, boy is he great!
You betcha!

credits

from Olde Sk​ö​ö​l, released November 19, 2023
Lyrics & Music: CRUST

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CRUST New Jersey

Four college bandmates with solid mediocre musicianship and unstoppable creative drive. E minor power anthems? Heck, yeah. Wizards, demons and circus freaks? Of course. Meandering, brain-numbing jams. All day long. Sappy power ballads? Child's play. High-quality, 64-bit digital recording and modern mastering? Not a chance. Fun? It's the bedrock of everything CRUST does. ... more

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